The non horror film that horrified me to the bone!

I've heard people rave about this movie and I finally decided to watch it! Now I'm pretty sensitive when it comes to movies. Someone dies, a dog gets shot, a baby is born... yeah I'll get teary eyed but MY GOD just the reality that things like this happen probably on a daily basis... CREEPED ME OUT!
Not just one main character in the movie so there are a few people to follow. Start out with the son. He's taking his mom's tv which you find is to get a few bucks for a fix.
The mother is waiting terrified in her bedroom as if he's a mad man... meantime you learn he's just a junkie and she's the one with a few nuts and bolts missing.

The role of crazy mom played by Ellen Burstyn, was an absolute masterpiece. She captured the essence of an individual crazed by the every day stress of a mediocre life and pressures of society. I was so impressed by her devotion to the character and her ability to play a difficult role with ease.
She starts out fairly normal but you can tell off the bat that not everything is kosher. She's alone and proceeds to mention her isolation and lonliness in the movie as she vents to her son. An untypical long scene of gut spilling just makes you FEEL for this woman.
The reality of the older people in our lives having WHAT to live for?! She mentions that she has no one to care for and all I kept thinking is 'my god... how many women must feel that way'
Women naturally have it in them to care for others, to provide emotional strength and pamper. What is a widow to do?!
So she sits at home glued to the television watching the same brainwashing show.
Suddenly she has a reason to do something with herself. She begins to take weightloss pills to look good for a TV show! Now we all know that when someone tells you you're going to be on TV, it won't be tomorrow if at all but this is where she starts going JUST a little crazy. The pills take care of the rest.
The actress in her unbelievable role makes you realize just how easy it is to lose your senses. With the pressure out there today, people never know their own worth and strive towards something unnecessary all the while THINKING that's what will make them happy.
So she loses weight and her mind goes with it. You find it in your heart to sympathize with the fictional character.

The rest of the movie is just as disturbing. You see the poor mother losing her mind as the time goes by and her junkie son and friends ruining their lives for a fix.
It amazes me that drugs can bring people to this horrible state in life.
For any of you that are drug addicts, PLEASE SEEK HELP!
If ANY part of this movie is realistic, please do something about your addiction. I'm sure it's easier said than done and what do I know if I have never been pulled into those habits but I hope you find a way to get out of it.

The son's arm gets infected but he doesn't do anything about it.... again! It's all about the damn fix! So he keeps injecting through the infected area, ends up in the hospital just to get his arm amputated.... HORRIBLE!

So you see the son and his friends getting high and doing what they can for a fix. Risking their lives, health and sanity to get that momentary feeling of denying reality in a physical state.


What hit me was when the girlfriend played by Jennifer Connely becomes so desperate, she sells her body for her fix. It gets to the point where she gets invited to a sex party.
There are men all around a low stage where each gets a first look at females doing things to eachother that you don't get to see even in porn movies. And they have special requests too!

I don't know if any men like the ones in the movie will ever see this post but if any guys are into that bull shit, think of your mother or sister in that situation and get over your hard on!
For a woman to put herself in that situation, she must be in bad shape in her life.
One man yells out ass to ass! So they take a huge dildo and do what he asks.

As horrible as this movie is, I want to see it again. I'm sort of in denial because it's so hard for me to believe these situations.
See the movie yourself... What do YOU think?

Stress anyone?

How does stress effect us?
Me? Well I'm always stressed. Seems like there is always reason to be and having every joe shmo tell me otherwise is just more stressful!
So yeah, I know what stress is doing to me in general. I live it every day... don't deny it, you do too.
Symptoms:
Not sleeping well at night
Finding your appetite to be insatiable
Hair loss
Annoying habits
Irritable all the time
Fatigue
Undefined menstrual cycle
Acne
And oh so much more!
And these are only on the surface! What about the chemical reactions in your body? Think it doesn't effect your every day life? Think you're handling it well! HA! DENIAL!

Sometimes you feel like your head is going to explode and sometimes you hope for it!
Fight or Flight BABY:

Stress is what you feel when you have to handle more than you are used to. When you are stressed, your body responds as though you are in danger. It makes hormones that speed up your heart, make you breathe faster, and give you a burst of energy. This is called the fight-or-flight (Web MD)

Stress effects you more than you know. I know the diagram isn't big enough but basically it shows you the different areas that stress can effect you.
Whether you're at work, school or just life is driving you up the walls, you find yourself unable to cope whether you can admit it or not! Life isn't easy, and no one promised it would be!
Your boss can be the biggest pain and you feel unappreciated. Your spouse just doesn't get WHY it is that you're stressed or your scraping for that month's rent. The kids just won't behave and no meal is satisfying enough to their picky needs. The in laws are hounding you for yet another grandchild but they don't know you're doctor just told you there is a health risk involved. The antique bowl you got for your wedding just broke, you sliced your finger while cooking, the shower has no pressure and the moths made holes in your suit!
What else can possible go wrong!?!??
And someone had the nerve to eat your Moist Maker Turkey Sandwich!??!?!
OK I say we do THIS from now on! RAGE damnit! Someone pisses you off? Throw a blow! Spouse getting on your nerves? Throw something and don't put out! Boss is pissing you off, shred all the important paperwork! In laws pressuring you? MOVE far far away! Kids driving you crazy? That's it! NO DINNER FOR A MONTH!

Ok... let's be realistic now...
There should be at least one person in your life that can make you feel better. Where a hug or massage relieves some of that days stress. Breathing techniques might work for you, I prefer the cig break, some tears and chocolate! VENT! Despite what you think, it helps! Just make sure to vent to the right crowd. Not everyone truly cares what you're going through and when you realize the person you've been venting to just wants you to shut up already, that can only add to your stress.
We live in a crazy world people! No one wants to take on their own lives and deal with other people's problems but what helps you, might help others too. Being nice and thoughtful has lost all meaning... How about we start to remedy that?
How about you? Need an ear to talk off? Email me! I'll listen if you do!

My Reese Li Black Bead

So yeah it's a diaper bag and yeah it's pretty big and yeah... I'm loving it! I was thinking of getting the Leaf Lexington first. Nice fall colors and so so pretty... but ended up going with Black Bead. This bag ROCKS!
It's super roomy and the straps are surprisingly comfortable. The first day I took it out, had my laptop in there. I'm getting the Lexie Barnes computer case insert because that wasn't so ideal. Definitely need a lap top cover if you're going to use the Lexington as a laptop bag.

So I use one outside pocket for my cell and metro card and the other for a water bottle... perfect fit!
It's big enough to store my sweater or light jacket too when I'm not using them. The inside pockets are full with things too and I am LOVING this bag!
The Reese Li Lexington sells for about $150 but feel free to click on them to see the entire collection and get 10% off!

The Shithole!

So yeah as I've mentioned it's a shithole but we have our reasons. We actually turned it into a livable place but our main issue right now is the minimal mold on the walls of the first floor. Small circles of mold. We did some research and read up that it effect children and older people with weak immune systems. My guy is a bull and can handle it all and so far I haven't had any symptoms at all, we've been here for a week.

We're not planning on a life in this house but it's a temporary set up till we get on our feet.
Does anyone know of easy and CHEAP remedies? Something we can do that won't take up much time as we're both working and still have yet to set this place up a little more?

It's actually only in the living room and dining room.
I heard I can scrub the walls with soapy bleach water in an attempt to kill it but my guy read that sometimes dead mold, if not fully removed can be more harmful.
He has allergies and they haven't gotten worse since we've been here so I'm only blindly assuming I'm being paranoid... LIORR You're making me paranoid! :)
That's my sis in law... She is convinced the mold will have serious effects on our health.

Sooooo Any opinions? Vote on the poll! Leave a comment! Give us suggestions PLEASE! Either get me out of this house and feed into my paranoia or reassure me that a few months in a 2 room moldy home is ok and not such a big deal!

Thanks all!

More weight lost more weight loss to go

So this weekend was at weight watchers again. And I lost 3.4 pounds hee hee!
Pretty psyched thank you very much!

And now my guy is even hooked on the snacks... I called him today to find out he dipped into my weight watchers snack stash... Ahhhhh a stash filled with Peanut butter mini bars, chocolate raspberry mini bars, Chocolate caramel mini bars, fruit and nut bars, sweet and salty bars... luckily my low fat Pringles and Fiber one bars were well hidden hee hee hee.

FYI Caramel Fiber Ones are so tasty! They're slightly bigger than the chocolate and a little more chewy too!

And now as I'm searching for web images to add to this post I found a blog with a post about the Fat Free Pringles that had me on the floor laughing hysterically!

Here's the link:
http://webnugs.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html


MUST READ.. She had me crackin!

Show me the MONEY!

My guy is great and he left Israel just to be with me. So now he's here looking for a job.
I don't expect anyone to really read this but if you have any offers... SOS
Leave a comment and lemme know :)

It's a Shithole but it's our Shithole

Ever been with someone you love so much that nothing matters but being with them?
So when I say shithole, I mean it!
Walls are falling apart, ceiling parts are coming down, never ending dust, tile residue on the floors, the wood flooring has gotten wet from leaks so many times it's become completely uneven, the kitchen has like 15 layers of scum and icky stuff and I mean this house is in BAD shape...

BUT we decided we want to be together enough to live in it grrrrr
So we started cleaning up.... walls still falling apart and the ceiling is still coming down but it's getting cleaner by the day!

Had fun painting the bedroom on Sunday... things got a little out of hand when we had a paint fight.... he ended up with an imprint of my hand on his head and we were both basically covered in slate blue gray paint... so much fun he he he

And so exciting! Went shopping... mind you it was at discount stores but nonetheless I bought house type stuff...
I got the cutest coasters... for 99 cents thank you very much! And a bunch of other stuff too!

Might sound stupid but I'm happy lol

So now... ANYONE have any ideas on a cheap and easy way to make over a house?

Fall In Love With Me When I'm In Sweats!

I told my guy today, I'm going to get my nails done for when I see him on Tuesday. He smiled and sent me a link to a Katt Williams comedy thing where he talks about how guys couldn't care less about that stuff.

It's true! Women do a lot of things to please men. It's become such a normal way of life that we don't feel it's unnecessary. So we go out and get our nails done, and buy pretty clothing, we spend hundreds on make up and the purses and shoes. We try to find the best hair products so that each strand flows perfectly around our shoulders and stress over every little imperfection.

When you're in a relationship, your guy always tells you you're beautiful without make up, I don't care if your nails are done or not, you look amazing in the morning in your sweats....

But when was the last time a guy told you he fell in love with this girl he saw at 6 am sitting on her porch in sweats with crust in her eyes, her hair in Afro mode with her cute blemishes sticking out? When was the last time your guy friend told you he's dating the girl he saw on the train wearing torn jeans and a stained shirt with dry cracked skin, peeling lips and gel flakes in her hair? When have you ever heard a man say he fell for her unshaven legs, flabby thighs, armpit hair and bushy eyebrows?!

Ah ha!!!!
See now those are things that can be dealt with later in the relationship when you live together or spend enough time with each other to get used to the flaws we cover up. But you won't look at a girl and say "man! she looks hot with her rolls hanging out!" or "Look how beautiful she is when she smiles with spinach in her teeth" or "God I love a woman that eats like a horse"!

So say all you want dear men but we do all the things we do because WE KNOW!
So yeah, we appreciate the compliments more than any of you can understand and it reassures us to hear you tell us we don't NEED to do all we do but we know that if we didn't, at least in the beginning you wouldn't have taken a second look. And if we stop further in the relationship you ask us what's changed?
It's human! And we are not in denial my friends. We love your attention when you mention the soft material we're wearing as you run your hands on it, we love how big your eyes become when you see us in a tight dress that accentuates the finer points of our bodies, we live for your stumbling words when we kiss you with soft lips along your neck and we die to know that everything we do does in fact add up to you thinking "I can never live without her"

And you cover up flaws too my dears! I doubt you'll scratch your balls, fart at dinner, pick your nose, wear pajamas, and burp excessively on a first date. And if you're actually doing all that in public I highly doubt you expect a girl to turn around and say "That's the guy I wanna marry"!

MEN! Tell her she's beautiful! Tell her she's amazing! Tell her you can't imagine anyone more perfect whether she's in sweats or the dress that makes you want to throw her on the bed animalistically! But tell her you appreciate that she didn't cut her nails so short because she knows you love it when she scratches your back. And tell her you appreciate that she went out of her way to get the ingredients you love for dinner even though it wouldn't have mattered to you either way. And tell her how unbelievably sexy she looks in that expensive piece of "barely any fabric" lingerie (even though it wasn't worth her money) because she does it all to please you!
Tell her you love that she called to make sure you're ok because if you love her the same you would be worried too. And show her how much you appreciate that the house is organized even though she walked in the house 10 minutes before you did, had time to cook, feed the kids and STILL organize that day's mess. Appreciate the new sheets on the bed, and the expensive cooking utensils that only help her cook better for you.
Appreciate her wardrobe!!! Maybe some of you don't notice but if you ever tell us a certain style doesn't look as good as a different style... our clothing preferences change!!! TELL HER you noticed she changed her perfume, and her new haircut, her pink painted toenails and her loss of a pound or two.
As much as some women deny it, we do it to please you! It makes us feel good and makes us more confident because it's something you notice or something you comment on.


And when you're in love guys, you subconsciously change too! In the relationship cycle, we do things to please each other because that's simply the way it is otherwise there would be no relationships at all!

We love you because you went out of your way to buy us flowers, because you washed the dishes after we cooked dinner, because suddenly we felt your hand caressing our back and because you cut your hair the way we like. Because you stop us in our tracks to kiss us in public, because you hug us from behind while we're cooking and because you texted us that you love! Because you listened to something we said and did something about it and because you held our hand and told your friends about us and because you tell us every day how amazing we are!
Sounds simple enough but you wouldn't do all those things unless you were trying to please us.

Relationships are an amazing thing because you work for each other out of love and so it doesn't seem like work at all because your reward is PRICELESS!

Weight Watchers

Just wanted to share some info. Firstly I love the system, love the fact that I can eat what I want and love the food variations I've come up with!
And now that I'm logging, I'm realizing so many new things!
For instance, those of you that chew sugar free gum... check the calorie count on that! I honestly never bothered checking and I used to chew stick after stick of gum! The gum I chew has 5 calories! Which seems like nothing but by the time the taste runs out of that one, I'm stuffing another in my mouth and by the end of the day I would have at least 50 calories worth in my system! CRAZY!
So yeah, I'm logging! Trying my best to keep track of it all!

I love the weight watchers foods too! There are a lot of point friendly foods that you can buy but my god! Half of them taste terrible!!! I bought the Weight Watchers string cheese and it tastes GREAT! And they came out with these Latte Straws. I take one cup of milk with 2 ice cubes and if I'm in the mood for more sweetness I add a Splenda or two and throw in the straw. The straw has these balls of flavor that melt as you suck the milk through so you get a flavor burst with every sip!

I tried some of their 1 point mini bars too. The chocolate caramel and the oatmeal raisin are pretty good but I really like the raspberry chocolate bites. Today I bought the peanut butter mini bars, I have yet to taste 'em but anything with peanut butter has to be gooood!

This week as I was logging, they had a snack suggestion on that day's page. The apple stacker. You remove the core of an apple, slice it in 3 and put 1 tbsp of peanut butter in between the slices. It's a little hard to keep the peanut butter there but I enjoyed the combination.

The Weight Watchers yogurts are great too! They have so many flavors and 1 point each! PLEASE next time you grab for a yogurt, just take a look at the back! It may say low fat but check the calories! See how much sugar is in it! You will be amazed!!!










Fact is, when we look in the mirror we would like to see a thin and fit person staring back. Women AND men... Many disregard the fact that men also have many issues with their appearance. They sometimes deny caring about their looks but everyone wants to love what they see in the mirror and rarely anyone ever does.
Many people blame society for the unfairness towards the overweight but we're all using that as an excuse to be the way we are! Being thin and fit is a GOOD thing and we should all want to be that way not for the attention (I'm being a hypocrite :), not because we're told, not because we envy the bikini wearing models and the muscular men that have women drooling but because it's HEALTHY! When you can run up a flight of stairs without suffocating by the time you hit the middle, that's an accomplishment! When you have more energy to play with your kids, and walk out of the house feeling good and confident, that's an accomplishment!
Do it for whatever reason, stupid or small but do it!

I grew up as a fat child. Not overweight, fat! I was laughed at and would come home crying all the time because children can be mean. I struggled with weight all my life and no matter how happy I may have been at times, it's not the same as when I feel confident enough to go on the evil scale because I know I lost even a LITTLE weight.
I used to be a damn size 18!!! Now I'm fluctuating between 14 and 12. And I would like to reach the point where I can look in the mirror and not feel the need to suck my stomach in so that I can stand to see myself! Although FYI that does help slowly build stomach muscles :)

And another FYI. I learned something sad and interesting today at the meeting.
There are over 180 MILLION starving people in the world!
BUT!!!
There are over 1 BILLION overweight people in the world!
It's sad that the greatest country in the world is suffering from an obesity epidemic. That one of our biggest crisis is obesity!

Starting next week, for 6 weeks, Weight Watchers is doing something amazing! They told us today that for 6 weeks they will donate 1 POUND OF FOOD for every POUND lost during these weeks! How wonderful is that!?
I say, BE SELFISH! Don't do it because you want more to be donated (as amazing as that is) but you have to do it firstly for yourself!

And I'm hoping this post of mine will help me out if I ever feel like reaching for a 17 point piece of carrot cake :)

If you've lost any weight, post a comment. How much did you lose? How did you lose it? What tips do you have for me? (and my readers... if you're out there :)

It Begins and Hopefully Will Continue!

So I went to a weight watchers meeting last Saturday after lord knows how long that I haven't been. I was in a bad mood... gained weight, PMS'ing, my guy is away and just a mosh of different things. I came there with such a pessimistic outlook... came home and for the rest of the day as well as Sunday, I SPLURGED like there was no tomorrow!
Monday came and suddenly something changed. I grabbed the monthly log book and started writing down everything I ate. I even bought vitamins which I've been saying I'll start taking forever but was always too lazy to GO BUY THEM!
Today I went in for the meeting and I honestly didn't expect anything. Got my period so I'm super bloated and whether or not I lost any weight... I feel HUGE!
***I hope men thank god every morning for the simple fact that they're not women***

Anyway... moody, bloated and not so happy, I got on the scale. In less than a week, dear Maya lost 2.6 pounds!Which brings my complete weight loss to a little over 35 pounds total! WOO HOO!!!

Mind you I had lost 50 and gained almost 20 back but I'm back on and hopefully for good! WISH ME LUCK!

It's so so hard to control but I'm hoping with some determination and the support of my family and guy, I'll be able to stick to the damn program :)

I really do love Weight Watchers. This week I've had pizza, chocolate and anything else I wanted including all the healthy stuff!
Click Here to find out more about Weight Watchers.

I Got It!

I finally got the Amy Kathryn Poppy Leopard Diaper Bag! I haven't had a chance to use it just yet. I kind of wanted to use it for a trip to Boston tomorrow but that got canceled unfortunately but I'll probably pack my stuff in it for Monday :)
I'm pretty psyched! I always loved animal prints but they usually look too tacky. This bag looks fabulous and as usual the images don't do the diaper bag justice at all!
It's pretty big and I love the suede with dark gold print. The touch of leopard trimming makes the bag!
I tried it on just to see if it's comfortable without anything in it... let's put it this way, if it wasn't comfortable I wouldn't be posting about it :)

Click Here to check it out and get an automatic 10% off!

Finally The 50% Off Section Is Launched!

So we decided to add a 50% off section to the website. Pretty Cool!
Not a lot of items will be in there at once but we'll be changing it up from time to time BUT here's the tiny catch! ALL of the items in that section are limited and once they sell out, they're gone!
Check it out HERE

And be sure to take a look at these CMK (Change Mat Kits) by Baby Kaed SUPER CUTE!

Message In A Blog

Like a message in a bottle I write to my love

For I know this love note will be found

In a sea of web links awaiting discovery

My words will escape his lips in pure sound



He will know my every love for him of truth

And despite his youthful doubts, thoughts unwanting

Every line and in between will ring with fact

That this found love as promised be binding



And so to you loved one I write all that is felt

In a tear or a heartbeat or a breath of a thought

From start of a moment having met such a man

This love I assumed would forever be sought



Existence is true I have felt it in disbelief

For those that know of such a lost concept of love

To the one I ache, smile and cry for

In mind and in body this message in a blog


glitter-graphics.com

I MISS HIM!!!!

Ever miss someone so much it would hurt to think about them? Ever miss 'em so much it would make you cry? When you love someone, missing them is supposed to be an awful feeling no? You miss the hugs and kisses. And miss that feeling you have when you're together... miss knowing you'll be seeing them in the morning when you wake up or knowing you'll see them when you get back from work...
Missing kind of sucks people!
My guy has been away for almost a month and won't be back for 8 more days! GRRRRR is all I have to say! And what are these thoughts I'm having in my mind? The dreams of a life together...
It's cool and frightening, exciting and overwhelming! And I'm sure it's the feeling you get when you know you're with someone you're meant to be with.

If ANYONE reads this post, leave a comment. Tell me how YOU knew the person you're with was the one you were meant for!

The Fleurville Wristlet

I love this thing. The Fleurville FOB Denim Wristlet rocks! I originally got it for a cruise I was going on. AND IT WAS PERFECT! I had my passport and itinerary and documents handy at all times. When I wasn't using it I threw it in my purse and it didn't take up any room. And when I knew I would need the stuff inside, I kept it around my wrist and it was super comfortable.
Just to be sure I wouldn't lose it, I clipped it around the purse strap while it was inside the bag.
This little accessory is G-R-E-A-T!

It comes if Fleurville's awesome prints like Botanical Coral and Tangerine Ogo. Fun prints, great accessory!